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Chousand II

by Chousand

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1.
Ego Stroke 02:24
You want to make your name It's just the fame that you're after You want to save the world But you're a fucking disaster You want to tell them all That they got you wrong With the shitty lines in your stupid punk songs You want to make your name It's just the fame that you're after You want to save the world But you're a fucking disaster You want to tell them all That they got you wrong With the shitty lines in your stupid punk songs Just keep those bottled in your head Some things are better left unsaid Get over yourself And put that pipe dream back up on the shelf You pretentious dick You wanted this so long But your audience moved on And if you wanted to play You know you needed to pay No one makes it on their own But your audience went home You're on your own Just keep it buried deep inside No one will listen when you die Get over yourself And put that pipe dream back up on the shelf You pretentious dick
2.
Slow Burn 03:13
It's a long life Gotta find the right vice Dime bag, brown bag, slow burn killers It's a long life gotta pick the right vice now And I choose you And I choose you And I choose Have a ball, catch 'em all, take your pick They're gonna fuck me up 'cause I can't fucking quit And if it doesn't work for me this time I'll find another vice and I'll make it mine And I hope that you'll come close But I know that I'm lying to us both
3.
Saab 03:19
The signs that say that things get better They say we're dying out Are we a dying breed A generation not Believing anything They say we're dying out Are we a dying breed A generation not Believing anything No telling where we'll be and (They say we're dying out) Looks like it's you and me then (Are we a dying breed) It's just to hard to see (A generation not) The signs that say that things get better (Believing anything) Go on jump in the deep end (They say we're dying out) I'll sleep you'll waste the weekend (Are we a dying breed) It's just to hard to see (A generation not) The signs that say that things get better (Believing anything)
4.
Haven't got much sleep I haven't slept in about three weeks Think I'm hearing things Pretty sure there's something wrong with me Maybe that's just depression Maybe that's just anxiety Will it ever get better Or is this how it's supposed to be So I'll make breakfast for dinner All I ever do is stress you out Yeah, I'll make breakfast for dinner I don't think I'll ever leave this house Maybe that's just depression Maybe that's just anxiety Thought it was getting better Maybe it's just a part of me So I'll make breakfast for dinner All I ever do is stress you out Yeah, I'll make breakfast for dinner I don't think I'll ever leave this couch I've considered self-destruction I'm a burden never meant to be I haven't got much sleep I haven't slept in about three weeks So I'll make breakfast for dinner Yeah, I'll make breakfast for dinner I'm sick of breakfast for dinner But I'll make breakfast for dinner
5.
Owl House 04:13
Okay, this is heavy I should probably get some help Watch my world around me Collapse upon itself Screaming holy Hallelujah Asking for advice Must have missed His update Forgot to hit subscribe So don't pray for me 'Cause I won't pray for you And don't reach out to me 'Cause I don't want to have to get back to you Okay, this is heavy Gotta move on with my life All my friends around me Are having a good time While I'm sitting by your bedside Listening for your breath Finding peace, serenity That only comes with death Don't pray for me Find something else to do And don't reach out to me 'Cause I don't want to have to I've got an angel Visiting only in my dreams I've got an angel She's always looking out for me Don't pray for me I won't pray for you And don't reach out to me 'Cause I don't want to have to get back to you No I don't want to have to get back to you
6.
Grim 01:45
Grim Grim Grim Grim
7.
I woke up in the morning weeping Smoked a bowl just to calm my weary head Wide awake when I should be sleeping Could be the last time I see your face again Oh no, I said That costume you were wearing was so dumb And now, I'm haunted by that thought I know that I'm Just stressing and projecting All these awful words I know you never said I woke up in the morning screaming Heard your voice and it broke my heart again After all it just keeps on beating Some days I just wish it would stop instead Waking up from watching you go I just wanted to let you know The worst thing you said Is that you're better off dead And you're sick of always letting me know Waking up from watching you go I just wanted to let you know The worst thing you said Is that you're better off dead And you're sick of always letting me know Yeah you're sick of always letting me know Yeah you're sick of always letting me know
8.
Good God 02:34
Look but can't find Your soul or mine Grief's like a wine Gets better all the time Will someone save my soul Good God does no one know Looks but can't see Your destiny Oh, no guarantee His plan for you or me Will someone save my soul Good God does no one know Will someone save my soul Good God does no one know It's all so easy when your life is on a straight line All laid out before you were born Now it feels as if we're wasting all of His time Our condescending, never-present Lord I don't want to believe Don't want to believe anymore I don't want to believe Don't want to believe anymore No more
9.
Pack Rat 03:12
You know I love you But I used to love baseball too And that's what scares me What if that happens to me and you I'm beside myself Sitting on the bedroom floor At my father's house To decide what goes in storage It may be garbage But it's all we have left of you A sad reminder Of all the things we used to do I found your notes from a parent teacher meeting Too bad, so sad I should just stop reading I'm beside myself Sitting on the bedroom floor At my father's house To decide what goes in storage It's worthless but still It reminds me of you Every day that you're away We lose another part of you These black bags in the back of your closet No one has touched them for days These black bags that are going to Good Will Don't mean that we threw you away I'll drive the car to drop them off and cry the whole ride 'Cause no one remembers your name I've got to find a better place, some other place to stay I'm beside myself Sitting on the bedroom floor At my father's house I'm beside myself Sitting on the bedroom floor At my father's house To decide what goes in storage It's worthless but still It reminds me of you Every day that you're away We lose another part of you I'm beside myself Sitting on the bedroom floor At my father's house To decide what goes in storage It's worthless but still It reminds me of you Every day that you're away We lose another part of you We lose another part of you
10.
Drying off down by the lake And the water feels the same Not like last summer did It's so different nowadays Hold my breath hold my breath for too long It's hard to believe that you're really gone When you're everywhere I look And every choice that I make I just miss you so much drying off by the lake Didn't get what we wanted Not what we need Will these wounds ever heal Or continue to bleed When you wore your yellow sweater That was way too big Out on the lake together Did it even happen All that's left is this sweater It still doesn't fit I swear that it's you Every time I wear it Yeah it's you Spend all my days just Thinking 'bout you Yeah it's you Wish I just got more time with you
11.
Knock knock, who's there, guess who Is that you from the other room I miss your laugh and everything you do I know it's dark But orange you glad you listened this far So I backed up all your voicemails And hid them in a drive There they'll stay forever It's keeping you alive It's keeping you alive Knock knock, where'd you go Did you make it crossed the road Is the grass even greener Or are you a ghost Death is nothing at all Doesn't matter when you die Life is one big joke Good bye is the punch line So I backed up all your voicemails And hid them in a drive There they'll stay forever It's keeping you alive It's keeping you alive Ha, ha, ha, of course You only can laugh when life gets worse
12.
I've been changing every minute But I haven't found me yet Like, will I make a difference Or see the world before I'm dead So if tomorrow I don't make it Just forget the words I said I tried everything but Guess I'll try again I've been changing every minute But I haven't found me yet Like, will I find the time To see the world before I'm dead And if tomorrow I don't make Just forget the words I said I tried everything but I guess I'll try again

about

In March 2022, Matt's mom, Kathy, passed away after a courageous 19-month fight with an aggressive form of brain cancer... nearly 20 years after Brian's mom, Diane, lost a similar battle of her own.

And very quickly, all of the late nights spent partying too much and writing self-deprecating songs about our 20s were replaced with late nights crying together and talking about what happens when you die.

'Chousand II' is a product of those nights and all the self-referential, stoner spirituality and unlicensed grief therapy that came with them.

So, fair warning: this might not be a very 'upbeat' listen, particularly for anyone who hasn't lost a parent or loved one.

But if you have, we hope that you can find some comfort or humor in our ongoing, clumsy attempts to cope with life after loss.

And if not, bear with us and maybe come back for a listen and a laugh when life gets worse...

In loving memory of Kathy Scully & Diane Burr.

credits

released October 31, 2023

All Songs Written and Performed by Chousand
Mixed, Mastered, and Produced by Isaac Civitello

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Chousand Connecticut

Chousand II available everywhere 10/31/23!

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